For the past 5 and a half years, I’ve been working part-time in a programming role for a small business in our local city. As of 18 June 2026, I’ve officially become a housewife again. These are the facts; now for the story.
The Path That Led Here
I’m always amazed at how God works, and I’m going to be raw and real here. When I started working again five years ago, God made it very clear that it was time to enter the workforce. I was still in prayer, asking for confirmation, when an opportunity arose before I even began putting myself out there. It was clear that I was meant to take the position. My mother was living with us, so she was able to watch the children while I worked. I was able to work from home a few days a week, and the position was part-time.
The income boost allowed us to make some purchases we had been putting off, including taking the children on a seaside vacation.
But over the past few years, things have changed. My father-in-law passed away. My mother met up with a high school sweetheart and moved in to help him in his old age; they are good companions. My mother-in-law took over watching the children, but now her age is also catching up with her.
Discerning the Next Step: A Time of Prayer and Fasting
So, skipping some of the details of the past five years, I recently went into a time of prayer and fasting for three days to discern God’s will: Did He want me to hire help to watch the children while I took on a full-time role? Did He want me to keep going as I was for a bit longer? Did He want me to come home again full-time? Or did He have something else planned?
During those three days (14th to 16th May 2026), I had the worst migraine I have ever experienced. It started on the morning of the 15th, and I literally could not stand up because I felt dizzy and nauseous. I remained in bed with my head under a pillow because the sunlight entering the room made everything worse, even with the curtains closed.
At some point that day, my employer phoned with an issue regarding a development project I had completed. I couldn’t think clearly, I couldn’t answer the questions being asked, and I was incapable of being useful in any way. The conversation ended with a request that the issue be fixed before Monday morning, which was a fair request as it was my responsibility.
I turned my phone onto “do not disturb” and focused on getting through the migraine; that was the first step.
By about 2-3 a.m., the migraine was over. Looking back, I don’t know if this was a spiritual attack or my body’s reaction to the fasting.
I felt an urgency to get to work and start fixing the issue, but I also felt that still, small voice telling me, “You have dedicated these three days to prayer and fasting. Stick to the plan.” So, I did. I spent the rest of the day reading the Bible, reviewing content God directed me toward, praying, and writing.
Key moments from the past year came to mind constantly. Many of these I cannot share publicly because they involve other people, but there is one pattern I am allowed to share because it involves only me and my internal world.
Defining My Passions
My passions, the things I love researching and learning about the most, are all connected, but they exist within a realm distinct from the technicalities of programming. I love learning about daily life in different cultures and historical eras. For example, I enjoy discovering what it was like to be a servant in a Victorian household, how pioneers survived when arriving in America, or the rhythms of life in the 1940s UK or 1950s USA. I have a particular interest in how people performed basic tasks before modern technology.
I love researching housekeeping methodologies, home economics, and home management, with a by-product of business management. There is also a slight overlap into homeschooling and other domestic pursuits.
This overflows into a passion for system building and efficiency. This is evident in my enjoyment of management games like Theme Hospital and games that prioritize efficiency, such as Mini Metro and Mini Motorways. I loved the older The Sims games because they were difficult; keeping daily life running while climbing the career ladder was a challenge, whereas the newer ones are more about storytelling, which I also enjoy.
I love studying spiritual matters: the Word of God, as well as books written by His servants and their testimonies. I am fascinated by the spiritual realm. While I would not consider myself to have an unhealthy obsession with the demonic, I do like to research how they operate, to “know thy enemy.” This overlaps into the paranormal, myths, and legends, but always at a healthy distance. Overall, I love stories, especially life testimonies of various Christians.
The Conflict of Two Worlds
As you can see, my passions don’t actually have much to do with technology; the only overlap is a love for system building. When I was younger, programming fascinated me because it provided a mental puzzle, solving a problem through code in an efficient method. But as I grew older, the ultimate puzzle became more apparent: managing a household efficiently. This has always eluded me, and perhaps that is what drove my passion toward it.
The interesting pattern I picked up is that the more I spent time with my passions, the worse I became as a programmer. It was like they couldn’t co-exist; when I focused on the one, the other became blurred. It felt like trying to hold two different worlds in my mind simultaneously, leaving me feeling fragmented and unable to fully commit to either.
So, it became obvious that I would need to lay down many of my passions to continue in my position. There was a moment where I laid them at the Lord’s feet and said, “If this is what You want me to do, I will do it. I give up the idol of my own passions to You.” All I want is to do what God wants, no matter what it is.
Then, another pattern emerged: as I drew closer to God, it became harder to get through my workday. This wasn’t true five years ago, but it became more noticeable the longer I worked. There were days I couldn’t finish a shift without blasting punk rock to drown out the internal struggle; if I switched to gospel, my body reacted with tears.
These patterns, along with other factors, brought me to the conclusion that God did not want me working in the current role full-time. It was also obvious that the current part-time situation was not sustainable long-term. The question now was: When is God’s timing for me to leave? And when I do, what is the alternative?
God did not answer these two questions during my prayer and fasting. Sunday came, the fast was over, and I felt God’s clear direction to work on the issue that needed to be fixed before Monday. I gave it my best, but I wasn’t able to fix the issue no matter what I tried.
Confirmation in the Quiet
By Monday, I had to decide: stay or resign. I still had no clear direction. I decided to continue working part-time until I received 100% confirmation.
My employer and I had a discussion on Monday morning. What we spoke about is not something I am at liberty to mention publicly.
After the meeting, however, God spoke. It was on repeat in my head, and I couldn’t stop it: “You need to leave. You need to leave today.” It was those words, over and over. Eventually, I asked God to prove it was Him and not my own thoughts. Just at that moment, a song played through my headphones with the lyrics, “Give God a chance to show you how great He is.” I don’t remember anything before or after those lyrics. The words that had been looping in my head suddenly stopped. I submitted my official resignation at the end of the day.
Looking Forward
With a 30-day notice period, my last working day was 17 June 2026. I have now been at home for three days, and God is only just starting to reveal the answer to my second question: What is the alternative? But that is a story for another time.
The one thing I want to say publicly is that there is no fault in my previous employer. There were never expectations of overtime work without compensation, the office environment was perfect, and there were no co-worker issues. By all human standards, I had one of the best employers a person could ask for. The season simply came to an end because God has something else planned. I am looking forward to the next stage of the journey of life.
I hope you’ll enjoy taking this journey with me.
