Getting dressed in lace-up shoes is a controversial point between FlyLady and many women who use her system. When I was younger, this was also a sticking point for me.
I have always had trouble finding the right shoes. A UK size 3 is the correct length, but too narrow; a UK size 4 is the right width, but too long. Sneakers, sandals, flip-flops, and hiking boots have usually worked best for me. Most other shoes do not fit comfortably. I have also found that men’s shoes are less narrow than women’s shoes, so when I buy sneakers or hiking boots, I have had more success in the boys’ section of shops.
Last year, I discovered my favourite work shoe.
I took a chance and ordered a pair of rubber work shoes from Temu. They were being advertised as suitable for nurses and people who are on their feet all day. They are plain, functional and oh so comfortable!
Do I wear shoes around the house?
Our house has a tiled floor and no central heating. In winter, I wear shoes all day, every day. Summer is another story. I like being barefoot in the summer months. I like the feeling of the cool tiles beneath my feet.
I’ve also heard many advantages of being barefoot as well as disadvantages.
Advantages of walking barefoot
- Strengthens foot muscles
- Improves balance and body awareness
- Promotes natural alignment
- Prevents shoe-related deformities
- Keeps skin aerated
Disadvantages of walking barefoot
- Triggers heel and arch pain
- Causes structural collapse
- Increases injury risk
- Exposes feet to indoor allergens
- Promotes dry, cracked skin
And these are just the health considerations. But the biggest advantage is the Psychological effect of wearing shoes.
The Psychological Effect of Shoes
This one is harder to argue against. Shoes have become a signal to my brain that it is time to work. I tend to move faster and get more done while wearing shoes. Just like FlyLady says in Sink Reflections:
With shoes on those feet of yours, your mind says, "OK, it's time to go to work."
This is definitely true for me, but wearing shoes is not the only thing that tells my mind it is time to work. I also have to brush out my hair and tie it back, and get fully dressed in comfortable, but neat clothes. The psychological effect is definitely noticeable.
The other point to notice is the dignity that a pair of shoes brings. When someone is gifted or owns a proper pair of shoes, it changes how they carry themselves. It quite literally allows them to stand tall, walk with purpose, and navigate their community as an equal. You can tell a lot about a man or woman by the state of their shoes.
Habit 2: Get dressed every morning, and don't forget your shoes
FlyLady says:
When you get up, your first priority is to get dressed, put on your shoes, fix your hair and face. I don't want you to stay in your pajamas all day.
This is a difficult one for me. I am useless before my first cup of coffee is finished. For this reason, I normally go through to the kitchen in my dressing gown and slippers. I feed the pets, make hot beverages for myself and my family, put on a load of laundry and then sit down at my desk to plan my day. Only when I finish my first cup of coffee do I get up, make a second cup and head to the bedroom to get fully dressed. This is usually around 8am-9am in the winter months and 7am-8am in the summer months.
No matter what I have tried, I have not been able to break this morning routine, and in a way, I don’t want to. I like the few minutes at my desk with my planner, computer and coffee while still cosy in my dressing gown and slippers.
Getting dressed to the shoes is the next habit I need to practice, but I’m not going to do it first thing in the morning. I know I will not be getting dressed the moment I get out of bed; I like my morning quiet space too much.
What I do need to practice is to be fully dressed by 8:30 am in the winter months and 7:30 am in the summer months. Since I am at home full-time, getting dressed at 8:00 am can quickly slip into only dressing at 9:00 am or 10:00 am, and I need to be a good example to my children in this regard.
I also know I will not always be wearing lace-up shoes. But I will be wearing comfortable shoes that allow me to move fast through my workday. No slippers.
You need to decide for yourself by what time you need to be fully dressed. I do not expect a one-size-fits-all.
Habit 3: Choose your clothes the night before
This brings me to the third habit mentioned in the book: choose your clothes the night before. I see that this is to stop a person from having to figure out what to wear the next morning.
FlyLady tells us to choose our clothes for tomorrow before we go to bed. This is a weird one for me, mostly because I already make that decision when I pack away my laundry. I group outfits together on the hangers, and I wear whichever outfit is next in the rotation. One side of my wardrobe has summer clothes, the other has winter clothes, and the middle has formal or occasional clothes. If it is a warm day, I pick the next rotation item from the summer section; if it is a cold day, I pick from the winter section.
I also have a pile of t-shirts on a shelf and take whichever one is on top if I choose to wear a t-shirt and jeans that day.
If I really don’t feel like a specific outfit, then I skip over it and take the next one out of the rotation, but that seldom happens.
In order to succeed at the habit of picking out the clothes the night before, I’m going to need a trigger to remind me to do it. At this stage, the best trigger is when I change into my pyjamas at night. I think the routine I need to build is to:
- Take out tomorrow’s clothes
- Take out my PJ’s
- Change into PJ’s
Habit 4: Get to bed at a decent time
What is a decent time? The general consensus is that a decent bedtime for an adult is between 9pm and 11pm. FlyLady says:
... if you are reading this and it is past 11:00 pm, then put the book down after you read the next paragraph.
If I had my way, I would be in bed with the lights off by 9:00 pm. Unfortunately, my kids generally only settle down at 8:30 pm, no matter what I have tried. This means my lights-off time has moved to 10:00 pm, and to get 8 hours of sleep, the earliest wake-up time is 6:00 am.
My Aunty Myrtle was rumoured to get to bed at 7pm because she would be up at 3am to bake bread and milk the cow.
Therefore, you need to figure out what a decent bedtime is for you and your circumstances and make sure you go to bed before your decent bedtime.
Routine & Habit building
You may notice I have grouped 3 habits together for practice this week. This is because they are all related to each other.
As with my last blog post, I’m going to highlight the routine tasks and habits that have been mentioned in this post. We are not at the point of creating the full set of routines yet, but I’ve combined everything we have so far into the list below:
Morning Habits
- Get fully dressed, including shoes
Daily Habits
- Complete the Kitchen Sink Loop at least once – get to inbox zero!
Evening Habits
- Prepare my sink to wash the next load of dishes (shine the sink!)
- Replace the dish towel with a clean one and put the dirty one in the wash.
Before Bed Habits
- Select the clothes you will be wearing tomorrow
- Be in bed with the lights out and cell phone down by your decent bedtime.
At the end of the day
Building these habits isn’t about rigid perfection; it’s about creating a home environment where we can show up as our best selves for the people who matter most. Whether that means finding the exact pair of shoes that signals “work mode” to your brain, or holding onto a quiet morning routine that brings you peace before the day begins, it’s all progress. Let’s take it one step, one evening trigger, and one decent bedtime at a time this week.
Here’s to standing a little taller in our comfortable shoes!
